Things I can no longer do – 8 July 2018

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So… got a bit of a sad on today. Not sure why. Didn’t sleep very well last night and in the time I laid awake my brain had far too much freedom as it was not distracted by anything else and my thought process spiralled into distinctly  negative territory. This particular train of thought centred around ‘Things I used to be able to do and now can’t’.

  1. Run. We have been through this before but just for clarity… I used to run 2-3 times per week for 5+km come rain or come shine. I was no great contender but I completed a couple of half marathons and used to enjoy 2 or so sprint triathlons per year. Now I can’t do any if this.  Every time I see someone else running when I am out and about I am reminded of this.  When I look back now and remember all the times that I didn’t want to go for a run or came up with a lame excuse not to go because I couldn’t be arsed, it makes me sad.
  2. Wear flip flops. Might seem like a small thing but I used to live in flip flops from May to October. Now as I walk, they just come off my feet. I can only really wear an enclosed shoe now or something that is strapped to my foot. AND IT IS REALLY HOT AT THE MOMENT. Also forget wearing heels, it is just dangerous. I can manage to fall off a flat shoe!
  3. Walk any further than about 500m without support. My ability to walk unaided is probably the thing that I feel is slipping away most rapidly at the moment. Gone are the days when we used to jump in the car and head over to the Brecon Beacons and hike up some big hill or other… Even going for a short stroll around the village is a challenge these days. I have started to actually feel a bit vulnerable going out on my own sometimes if I am having a bad day and there is a bit of walking involved, even just to the supermarket in case I trip and fall.
  4. Walk in a straight line. Again, something that I have also taken for granted. Now it can take the slightest thing to send me off course and career about like a drunkard. Busy streets and places where you have to change direction to avoid oncoming pedestrians – BLOODY NIGHTMARE. Hate it.
  5. ………….

I could go on. But I am not going to as this is not actually helping my mood. So what am I going to do about it? Well not take it sitting down, that’s for sure. Although maybe I might have to as I can’t stand for long (lol, not lol). So the FMT and the back procedure have yet to prove of any use, sadly although I do still hold out a small amount of hope that they will suddenly kick in. So it is all focus on the Toxic Dentistry treatment in 2 weeks. The one I am absolutely dreading but have secretly built up to be my next saviour. And that everything will be suddenly brilliant and I will be frollicking through the woods  without a care in the world. Doing triathlons… maybe even an IronMan. In flip flops. Honestly, it’s no wonder I get so disappointed, is it…?

So as well as having the two root filled teeth removed there is a 3 week pre-treatment detox programme which consists of the following supplements in various quantities and frequencies :Vit C, Zinc Gluconate, Vit D3, Vit K2, Magnesium citrate, Neptune Krill Oil and calcium coral. I have just spent £100 on supplements! As well as no dairy (not a problem as I haven’t had dairy in over 17 years) and no gluten. Plus lots of other things I don’t have anyway like refined sugar and tobacco etc etc. I have glossed over the section that covers alcohol. I am going to have to set up some sort of spreadsheet to track which supplements I should be taking when. On the day of the treatment there is another infusion at the surgery and the supplements continue for 4 weeks after. Fingers crossed …. Once everything has settled down from this in 6 months to a year, I intend to go for a heavy metal detox.

Other things I intend to do:

  1. Get back into a routine of doing my physio exercises REGULARLY. Ones to strengthen my glute which has wasted away and the ones designed to help with ‘crap foot syndrome’ and hopefully stop my foot collapsing to the side. My routine for this has gone to pot somewhat recently….
  2. I am booked in to refresh my Reiki 2 practitioner training in August. I originally completed it about 12 years ago but have not really done anything with it. My reasons for doing this are two-fold. 1. to practise Reiki healing on myself. 2. To start practising Reiki on others – this is part of my escape plan from my current job. In time I intend to complete qualifications in other methods of healing with a view to opening a private practice. I am going to start by signing up to Level 3 Physiology & Anatomy which is recommended in order to undertake many of these courses such as Indian Head Massage or reflexology. Just as soon as I have some money after I have finished paying to sort my teeth out, that is….